dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
