Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
