Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
