Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
