my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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