Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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