if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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