hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
