we're blogging at a bar
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
