you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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