i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
