big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm both gender and math confused
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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