I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
