Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
