i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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