Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We are two peas in an std pod
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize