I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
