i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
