apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
