I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize