No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He felt like a one man threesome
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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