Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
