walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
