I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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