we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
