On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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