i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
