okay pat passed out under dana's car
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just want to make out with him forever
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
