So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
