were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
