You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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