i just had sex bonerless
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
