I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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