It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
