He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
