the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize