I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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