Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Your tits are I can't wait for
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
