I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
