dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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