id be glad to
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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