Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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