I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
