I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
