You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Couch. On fire.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
