i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
