Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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