Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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