New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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