those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
soo... how was my night?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
