Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
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