Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
