1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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