booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
