Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
